Today, my baby, my BoyChild, my youngest child turned 15.
For those of you who have read for awhile, yes, you can let that sink in for a moment. It has been taking it’s toll on me.
He is compassionate, challenging, smart, rude, funny, frustrating, quirky, kind, crude, sweet, gentle, obstinate…I cannot think of enough adjectives to describe him because he is such a complex, passionate, quirky person.
I love him with every fiber of my being all of the time. Sometimes? I want to find some dingoes.
I have a spot in my kitchen, I use to measure him. Not regularly. Just at random times, I say, “stand still and back up” and grab a pencil and make a mark and write down a date. I did that this weekend; he’s 5 feet 10 inches tall. I suspect he has not stopped growing. He is taller than me now.
We got him an electric razor for his birthday. I read up on them. His Dad mostly uses shaving soap and a disposal razor but I was concerned what that would be like for his acne prone skin. So I studied the reviews and got him the one we hoped would cause the least amount of irritation to his skin.
I remember when he was a baby and I would rub his cheek with the back of my index finger. His skin felt like soft angel wings and he would give me the happiest, goofy, toothless grin. Today? Assuming he’ll let me stroke his cheek with the back of my index finger? I get a glare and feel rough hair.
We use to sign him up for camps and things to do during the summer. This summer he is working to make it possible for other kids to be able to attend camps and have fun. I’m calling it his summer of volunteering. We didn’t plan it, it just happened. He likes kids and wants to be useful. He’s not really old enough to work. He has interests and belongs to groups that need help. So he’s there. Because that’s the kind of person he is.
He worked at the Cub Scouts Twilight camp. He worked at the Robotics Camp at his high school. This week he’s working during the day with Totus Tuus with the younger kids and at night going himself. He has work grant at his high school where the kids do work in exchange for a tuition reduction. There are more Robotics Camps. I was trying yesterday to figure out a time for him to fly (alone!?!) to visit my brother this summer. There appears to be exactly one week in August when he isn’t volunteering somewhere and can go.
This morning before he left for Totus Tuus, I let him open his razor. He shaved off the fuzzy portion of his side burns and the light, fuzzy, goatee he’s been sporting for awhile. I did not watch, nor offer suggestions. He said he did the sideburns because he knows I don’t like them long and scraggly.
After he got on his bike to take himself to the Church to help set up for the day I sat on my bed and wept. For all that has gone before, for what we are leaving behind and for all the things yet to come.
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