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When you get all cocky and think you’ve got it all together the Universe smacks you down to keep you from being so cocky

September 10th, 2007 · 4 Comments · The BoyChild, You want whine with that

Last Friday, while sitting on our front porch talking, the Huz and I had a conversation about The BoyChild.

Me: He seems to be doing better.
Him: Yeah, the teacher said he’s been just perfect at school. And he’s been a pleasure at home. Cooperative. Friendly. Affectionate. No outbursts. No hitting. No ugly talking. I’m not sure what’s doing it exactly, but whatever it is, seems to be working.
Me: Maybe we have this problem under control.

Things had been going so well, I’d begun to wonder if we should keep our appointment with the occupational therapist.

Fast forward to yesterday. When the Universe decided, “can’t let M&Co and the Huz get too cocky. Need to slap them down a bit and remind them who is in charge here.”

Some days it seems like we take two steps forward and then get smacked down five.

The BoyChild has been doing o.k. Not always wonderful. He’s still very willful, stubburn, obstinate. I have a lot of difficulty separating what’s “Normal” five year old behavior and what’s part of the BoyChild’s various problems.

It sort of started after we went to the health food store where I bought him some cookies. The cookies didn’t have anything in them that should have been a problem. He’d eaten the same brand of cookies but in a different variety last week without any problems; last week he had sugar cookies and this week they only had snickerdoodles. He ate two or three between the health food store and the grocery store. He ate the rest between the grocery store and our house. About 12 cookies smaller than a golf ball for the bargain price of $4.99.

He was a little wired in the grocery store. Running when he should have been walking. Pushing the cart into me, but not in an aggressive way, more of an “oh oops!” sort of way. When I reminded him to walk, unless I got down to look him in the eyes and tell him to walk, I got the impression he wasn’t hearing me. When I said, “don’t push the cart over my foot you will hurt me.” he just kind of smirked. We got out of the store with a minimum of incidents, no melt downs, no ugly talking, which is what I refer to it when he yells or screams or talks back.

We came home and he seemed o.k. He helped me unload the groceries and talked about what we would do with the rest of our afternoon. One of the kids next door came over and invited him to come play. I let him go.

They played outside for more than an two hours. Nicely. There was no screaming. No yelling. He didn’t get sent home. I sent the Huz and the GirlChild over to check on him a time or two. I sent him some bottled water and a LaraBar to eat.

The Universe was getting ready to show me who was Boss. He came home a holy terror. Hitting, talking ugly, throwing things, throwing himself to the floor and crying. He wouldn’t eat dinner and ended up going up to his room and not coming out for the rest of the evening. He was horse, always a bad sign. He wouldn’t take his evening pills.

This is clearly outside the realm of normal five year old behavior.

It was, in a word, awful.

I got him to bed. Even read him a story. He was out like a light in no time. That’s another aspect of his problems. After he’s had an episode he’s often exhausted and will fall asleep, hard

And then the second guessing of myself and the analyzing begins:

Was it the cookies?
Was it something outside that set him off?
Why didn’t I have him take another antihistamine before he went outside to play?
Was it the scent from the soaps I’d been making that weekend?
Was he tired?
Was he hungry?
Had he had something in the last few days that caused this?
What could I have done to prevent this episode?
Could I have handled it better to keep it from escalating?
Did he have something next door to eat that he’s not suppose to have?

And so, I go to bed with no real answers. Nothing I can point my finger at and say, “this caused this episode.” I’ve got a lot of possibilities but nothing concrete.

Universe 5
M&Co. -3

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4 responses so far ↓

  • 1 missmamamoon // Sep 11, 2007 at 7:55 am

    Oh hon! You are doing such a great job with him and there’s just going to be limits. Second guessing is totally a normal part of parenting as I am sure you are aware. If it makes you feel any better, our five year old can have episodes similar to this out of the blue as well. To my knowledge she doesn’t have any food allergies (but now you have me thinking…). I think some days their psychological development is full speed ahead and they can’t handle it. Plus, having started school recently, it’s a lot to soak up for some kids all at once. Keep up the good work!

  • 2 Cynthia // Sep 11, 2007 at 8:12 am

    oh I’m sorry. I know….every time I think I’ve got a handle on dealing with my parents, something happens….or even on a less important note….every time we have a couple of good antique shows and make some make some money we start thinking we have it figured out. That’s when we get a smackdown like our last show.

    It’s hard to feel helpless….

  • 3 daysgoby // Sep 11, 2007 at 10:03 am

    Oh, M, I’m sorry. I know you’re trying so hard.

  • 4 Lisa H // Sep 11, 2007 at 12:07 pm

    And see, I’m sitting here thinking, “Wow, that sounds like a long, busy day and my kids would have behaved the same way at the end of it.” David especially has had meltdowns like this in the past year (and Ben’s just starting them, making me think it’s more of a 4-6 year old boy stage than anything else).

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