For my business I bank at Big, HUGE Conglomerate Bank.

They have one telephone number for every branch in town. You have to go to extraordinary lengths to get out of their “helpful” voice activated menus. They actually call it that.

I hardly ever call them. Primarily because my banking needs, though listed as a “Business” are pretty simple, and secondarily, because they have made it almost impossible to actually talk to a person. I want to bang my head on my desk every time I have to find someone there to talk to about a problem.

As a business customer, however, I have access to a “Business Banker.” This is the guy whose job it is to kow-tow to big important business clients. I really don’t know how or why they’ve assigned one of these people to me. Over the years, I’ve been at Big, HUGE Conglomerate Bank I’ve had various “Business Bankers.” Periodically, he calls and asks to come see me to see how I’m doing where he offers me new and wonderful products that the Big, HUGE Conglomerate Bank offers.

Need a new mortgage on your house?
Need a Line of Credit?
Need a second mortgage on your house?
Need a new high interest rate credit card?

The things that I DO want, think making deposits from my desk and a Health Savings Account, they can’t quite figure out how to offer.

So, I had a problem recently which necessitated I try to call Big, HUGE Conglomerate bank. I’d tried to add an account to my “on-line” banking service, so I could see the account when I signed on via the internet. The person I talked to at my local branch of Big, HUGE Conglomerate bank once I spent 15 minutes in their Helpful! Voice Activated Menu! told me it wasn’t possible for them to help me over the telephone and it would be necessary for my Business Banker to come to my office to assist me.

I had tried to call my Business Banker before I waded into the Helpful! Voice Activated Menu! While he was here, he shared his new business card, with his new phone numbers on them. Apparently too many people were calling so they changed that so no one would know how to reach him.

Anyhoo.

Business Banker comes into my office and sits down. I told him my problem. He picked up HIS cell phone and called someone at Big, HUGE Conglomerate Bank. Without looking at my computer or signing on to my account, someone at Big, HUGE Conglomerate Bank fixed the problem. I felt a little like I was easedropping and actually got up from my desk and stood outside my doorway and talked to my secretary while this exchange was going on. We shook hands and Business Banker leaves.

Now tell me. Do you think that was a good use ob Big, HUGE Conglomerate Bank’s resources or my time?

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