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My Own Personal Hell

September 7th, 2006 · 4 Comments · You want whine with that

Tonight I was in my own personal hell.

They had the HASA meeting at the GirlChild’s school. HASA is pronounced kind of like you’d expect it to would be and it stands for Home and School Association. I think they call it HASA instead of the PTA because you have to pay money to belong to the PTA (I’m just guessing here) and they don’t want to spend any money and that’s the goofy name they came up with.

They offer “childcare” for these events. The older kids, and I think by older they meant first grade and above, were in the gym with care givers/herders; people to keep them marginally contained and from killing each other. The younger kids were in one of the new classrooms paid for by huge donations and Father R’s blood, sweat and tears this summer.

And oh my god! For whatever reason they put carpet on the floors of these new class rooms. In.A.School. With kids! Lots and lots of kids. Little kids. So they are very anal now about bringing anything to eat or drink into these classrooms. Anyway that’s a different rant.

I digress.

So I take the BoyChild to drop him off.

The BoyChild has had a GOOD day! No hitting. He didn’t get put in time out. Not once.

And I’m all, like, “shit! let’s give that boy a medal!”

But instead he wanted those chocolate kisses that have M&M coating on them. When we were at Walgreen’s yesterday, killing time while the GirlChild was at tutoring, he wanted some. And I told him, “if you don’t get put in time out tomorrow, I’ll buy you a bag.” He got put in time out SIX times yesterday. Yeah. It was definitely NOT a good day yesterday.

Hell, I’d have bought him the BIG bag if it would keep him out of trouble.

I am not above bribery.

So anyway, I wanted the day to end on a good note. Getting thrown out of chilcare at the GirlChild’s school for hitting would probably not have been the ending to the good day I’d hoped for.

When I showed up at child care there were about forty kids, all under the age of six, and two teenagers. One of them was the teenager I let take care of my kids so I know she’s reliable and all but shit they were seriously out numbered. Hell, even with me in there, we were seriously outnumbered.

Having that many kids in one place, tends to not be good good for the BoyChild. While invading someone eles’ personal space isn’t a problem for him, he doesn’t like it when someone invades HIS personal space. So that many kids in that one classroom seemed likely to guarantee trouble for him.

And those were just the kinds of conditions where the BoyChild can quickly get out of control and into a whole lot of trouble in the blink of an eye. I wasn’t sure there wasn’t going to be a small riot.

So I stayed. And then one of the kids came over and sat down in my lap. And one of the babies (and by baby, I mean he was in diapers but he could walk around and could hold his own in the crowd) cried and I carried him around for awhile. And then someone had to go to the bathroom so I took them to the bathroom. And we got some reinforcements and I still didn’t feel like I could leave. Cause there were still way more kids than adults.

While they say the new classrooms were designed for the little kids, the bathrooms are around the corner, where I was afraid to let the little kids go without someone to keep an eye on them. And the paper towel dispensers were like six feet off the ground. So you can encourage them to wash their hands, but they can’t dry them.

And you know. I know, why I don’t like other people’s children. Hell, some days I don’t even like MY children. But I stayed.

Did you know that if one child wants to get a drink, they all decide they are about to die of thirst?

Did you know that if one child has to go potty, they all decide they must potty RIGHT NOW!

Did you know that it is physically impossible for two five year old boys to keep their hands to themselves for more than 3 and 1/2 minutes?

Did you know that if the door opens for any reason, they try to get out like a covey of quail scattering when you disturbe their nest.

And we aren’t talking about MY child.

Who.

For the Record.

Did very well.

I had to remind him a couple of times to keep his hands to himself.

And I had to shut him down when he wanted to stick his arms out and twirl around and play air plane.

But he used his inside voice, sat criss-cross apple sauce quietly and watched Veggie Tales.

And I was very pleased.

And I would have bought him another bag of those M&M Kisses if for no other reason than after being in my own personal hell with all those other people’s children for two full hours, I needed them.

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4 responses so far ↓

  • 1 sandy // Sep 8, 2006 at 4:02 am

    I think it’s a matter of semantics. That chocolate wasn’t a bribe – it was a ‘reward for good behavior.’ I’m all for rewards. ;)

    Thanks for stopping by my little bloggity place earlier!

  • 2 Maria P. // Sep 8, 2006 at 8:42 pm

    I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in the “childcare” room attempting to keep them all happy and alive and relatively mess free. WTG for sticking it out.
    Now I volunteer to be on the board for things so that I can’t be in the childcare room. LOL

  • 3 Susan // Sep 9, 2006 at 12:37 pm

    I think YOU are the one who deserves a reward. Although maybe something more gin-and-tonic like perhaps.

  • 4 Kristen // Sep 9, 2006 at 10:29 pm

    OH. MY GOD. That sounds horrible! But I think if it were me, I would have done the same thing – leaving Bryce in that situation would not be an option. Quinn would probably have a blast, but I’d still be nervous enough with that many kids that I don’t think I could leave. But my head…it would hurt. So, so badly.